MARC Teaches Attleboro Parents a Lesson on Bullying

Parents learned a lession in buyllying and cyberbullying during a presentation at Wamsutta Middle School by the Massachusetts Agression Reduction Center (MARC).

One of the main issues with bullying today is how much it has changed since most parents’ childhoods. Their experiences with bullies and who does the bullying is often radically different than what their children encounter, MARC;s Nicole Wilson said. 

Many parents associate bullies with one or two children who are outcasts from the majority of students.

Today, that is not the case. Bullies are often some of the most popular students in the school. These bullies are supported by so-called “eggers,” who encourage or “egg on” their behavior while not necessarily being the primary bullies. The rest of the students are bystanders who often float in and out of the position of being “eggers.”

Some of the problem with bullying is that because the bullies are most often popular, the students associate abusiveness with popularity. Additionally it encourages students to stand by, as bullying occurs, so as not to hurt their popularity.

“We need to make them aware that their own actions are supporting this system,” Wilson said.

Adding to the gap between parents’ collective experience with bullying is the popularity of cell phones and computers that allow the bullying to continue at home.

“You can’t get away from it, it follows you home,” Wilson said.

According to MARC studies, 80 percent of girls and 53 percent of boys said they had been victims of cyberbullying.

Wilson said that many children who wouldn’t bully someone face to face would use cyberbullying because it’s easy, anonymous, and they don’t have to see their victim's face, which allows them to be full of guilt. 

 Representatives from MARC suggests hat parents should be able to see what their child is doing online, including what they are posting on social networking sites such as Facebook.

“If mom and dad are watching, they might stop and think about what they’re posting,” Wilson said.

Wilson also pointed out that there is a safety aspect to monitoring their children’s Internet use aside from bullying. Online predators can find out children’s information from their profiles and even find out information about what the child is doing through their status updates.

MARC also gave advice for parents whose child might be the one doing the bullying. Some suggested to keep an eye on is their behavior with their siblings; listen to what others tell you about their behavior and to check what they are doing online.

Also, some of the signs that a child is a victim of bullying include changes in behavior, general depression, or a change in sleeping or eating habits.

“If you see any of these things in your child, you want to find out what’s going on,” Wilson said.

However, one of the main things MARC suggested to help prevent bullying is to talk to the children. While she admitted that children, especially teenagers, may not want to open up, it is important for them to know that they can talk to their parents if they want to.

This point was also reiterated by Superintendent Pia Durkin who said “Keep talking to your children and keep those lines of communication open.”

The presentation form MARC was well received by the parents in attendance.

“I thought it was helpful,"  said Kate Hibbert, the mother of a daughter at ." Its something that’s good to keep revisiting,”

“I’m worried about how my love of Facebook is affecting my 10-year-old,” said Pamela Santoro, who said she was going to look at how much time she spends on Facebook.

Additional information for parents and teachers can be found at MARC’s website www.marccenter.org and the district’s Bullying Prevention and Intervention Plan can also be found here.