The ‘Pope’ Breaks into God’s House, and Polly Wanna Reunion

‘Pope’ breaks into God’s house
A 52-year-old Providence man was arrested late at night after he wandered from his “home” inside a nearby Middletown church to visit a neighbor’s backyard fire. Strolling through the yard with no shoes and holding a coffee cup, the visitor was escorted from the backyard by the homeowner. During their conversation, the 52-year-old allegedly said he was “the Pope” and was visiting the church next door. Officers found the church door unlocked and the man’s belongings inside the church’s dining room and kitchen area, including his personal “to-do” list. They arrested him for felony burglary and returned to coffee cup to the church. Oh, and it turns out he was not the Pope.

Polly wanna reunion?
Johnston police officers helped reunite a woman with her beloved companion, a 4-year-old parrot, after the two were separated for about a month. The woman loaned her parrot to a West Warwick woman for a one-night trial. The West Warwick woman said she was considering buying her own. When she didn’t return the parrot the next day, the owner went looking for her. When she couldn’t contact the woman, and didn’t know the whereabouts of the parrot, she turned to West Warwick police, the ASPCA and finally the Johnston Police Department. Johnston detectives got involved, went to the West Warwick home and saw a parrot inside the house. They were eventually successful in getting the woman to admit the parrot was not hers, and she returned it. The original owner said the parrot, named Conchetta, “brought her love and comfort since her two previous brain tumors,” according to the detective’s report.

Sir, you really do have the right to remain silent
An alleged drunk driver in North Kingstown had a difficult time keeping quiet after officers caught up to him along Post Road. The police first became aware of the 22-year-old East Greenwich resident when the car he was driving nearly collided with a group of them who were on the side of Post Road. After he was pulled over, he started talking. First, he allegedly said he’d “had about four beers.” After failing a field sobriety test, he allegedly asked: “Am I really that drunk?” When officers asked again how much he had had to drink he allegedly said, “I actually had eight beers.” He later apologized for the near-collision but added: “I drive drunk all the time. I consider myself a safe drunk driver. I didn’t actually hit you so what’s the big deal?” He later went on to explain that some people can drink and drive and that he is one of those people, adding: “I can drive better than a woman when I’ve been drinking.” He later apologized for his comments. “I really didn’t mean it, I’m just drunk.”

In the buff and on the run
A 20-year-old Newport man was arrested after officers were called to investigate a naked man acting disorderly. A woman who lives in the same building called police after she saw him jump up and down on the roof and hood of her car – while making “animal noises” – naked. When officers arrived, the man ran into the street – still naked – and then ran away. Later than night, he turned himself in.

Tattoo artist has no license
An 18-year-old Newport man was busted for giving illegal tattoos to minors. Officers became aware of him after the angry mother of a 16-year-old called because her son was able to get a tattoo without her permission. When officers tracked him down, the tattoo artist admitted he had been giving tattoos to young people, but said he had no idea that you need a license to tat. Officers kindly informed him of the law and cited him the illegal activities.

Is that a power tool in your shorts, or are you just happy to shop here?
Johnston police officers were called to a Home Depot store to deal with an attempted shoplifter who had fled the store on foot. A store security officer allegedly watched the man stuff two power tools – drills – into his shorts and walk out of the store without paying. When the security officer confronted the man, he dropped one of the drills and took off running. Police later caught up to the East Providence man and arrested him for shoplifting.

Lawnmower thief gets pepper-spray and the taser – twice
A 26-year-old Woonsocket man paid a steep price for allegedly stealing a lawnmower. After a witness watched the suspect allegedly steal the lawnmower, police found him and took him into custody. That’s when the action began. The man reportedly refused to cooperate with officers, who then pepper-sprayed him. Once in a cell, the man reportedly threw his shirt over a monitoring camera. When police came to investigate, he walked out of the cell. After a long struggle to detain and cuff him, officers hit him with a taser gun, twice.