Me, Drunk? I'm With the FBI.

Starting this week, Patch launches "OMG PD," a regular column that takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, interesting and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout Rhode Island and Southeast Massachusetts. This week, we found plenty of stories worth sharing.

If Your Windows Are Too Dark… police will probably think you have something to hide. A Barrington teen learned this lesson the hard way on Feb. 24 after . Police allegedly discovered both marijuana and a bong in the 18-year-old's vehicle. He was charged with possession of pot and driving in possession of a controlled substance.

At Least She Was Being Resourceful… A Warren woman had seemingly good intentions when she walked into the Barrington Shaw’s last week with reusable grocery bags. Problem is, she was allegedly planning to fill them with stolen goods. The woman, who police labeled “a habitual shoplifter,” . In addition to the shoplifting charge, the woman was also arrested for a bench warrant for driving with a suspended license.

If You Break the Honor System… you’re going to pay for it. A Tiverton man was arrested this week after police say. The owner of the woodcutting business said he uses the honor system to let his customers pay for the wood. But after realizing that some of the money had disappeared, the owner decided to watch the box one night from a nearby parking lot. That's when he spotted the suspect allegedly pull up in a truck and try to pry the box open. The man was reportedly caught by police with a flashlight, pry bar and other burglary tools in tow. For all that effort, he allegedly only snagged a few dollars out of the box.

All He Wanted Was a Cold Soda… A North Kingstown man was recently arrested for assault and disorderly conduct after allegedly . His beef? The convenience store had “a lack of cold soda in the cooler.” The man allegedly pulled the employee over the counter, then fled. Police caught up with him down the street.

Pants on the Ground… An intoxicated North Kingstown man was arrested last week after his. When officers made contact with the man on Phillips Street, they reportedly found him naked from the waist down with no underwear on and his buttocks and genital area exposed. Police say he was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. 

You’re the Lucky One… A Westerly man was charged with assault with a knife last week . The victim reportedly told police that the man nearly hit him pulling out of a car wash. The two allegedly exchanged hand gestures, then confronted each other some more. According to the victim, he told the other driver that he needed to be more careful and that they were “lucky that they didn’t both just get hurt.” The Westerly man allegedly replied, “You’re the lucky one,” and then pulled an open black folding knife out of his jacket pocket. Police caught up with the man down the road, where he reportedly explained that he'd been trying to get gas at the car wash, but left when he saw the price was too high. He admitted to speeding, but said he halted before pulling onto the next road and that the victim probably swerved just because he was startled. He allegedly said he pulled out his knife after the other man instigated the fight.

Hiding the License Plate With a Blanket Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time… The slip of a blanket intended to disguise a license plate led to the arrest of a 42-year-old Providence man this week. The felony larceny charges stemmed from a Jan. 17 incident, which is when police say . A loss prevention associate reportedly followed him and watched him enter a vehicle that had two blankets covering the license plates. As the man pulled away, the rear blanket apparently fell off and the associate got his registration info. Police used that information to track him down.

Don't Hide Your Crack in Your Bubble Gum... Woonsocket police arrested a 17-year-old boy recently after . Police say they realized the teen had a warrant and took him to the station, where they became increasingly suspicious when the teen allegedly kept asking for a piece of his gum, which had been confiscated with his other possessions. Police say they searched the half-empty pack of Juicy Fruit and found $30 worth of crack cocaine inside.

Me, Drunk? I'm With the FBI... Woonsocket police arrested a Warwick man last week on numerous charges after . The man reportedly refused to give police his license, claiming that he was an FBI agent. Soon after he couldn't produce a badge, the man reportedly began flailing his arms while yelling and swearing. After allegedly resisting arrest, the man was eventually taken to the police station, where he reportedly admitted to having visited the Satin Strip Club in Providence earlier for a few drinks. Despite recording a blood-alcohol level of 0.11, the man allegedly still insisted his ties to federal investigators, telling the Woonsocket officers to "call the FBI and they will get me out of this."

If You're Already Drunk, Why Not Run Into the Liquor Store for More? You've probably already heard the story this week of the Barrington doctor who reportedly drove drunk and smashed his SUV into the front of a Seekonk liquor store. But in case you missed it, we present to you once again the