Valentine's Day: Sugar-Highs and Sentimentality

Even before the Christmas decorations have exited the stores, the chocolate hearts and pink and red cards begin to line the aisles of CVS, Walgreens and Target. Because even though Cupid's special day is months away, Valentine’s Day is still approaching!

For parents of my generation, Valentine’s Day recalls memories of anxiety, best evoked by the pathetic image of Charlie Brown fruitlessly waiting by the mailbox, hoping one of his friends will send him a valentine. A younger generation will probably remember Lisa Simpson giving Ralph Wiggums a valentine out of pity then having to deal with the consequences, Ralph’s unwanted devotion.

Our children’s teachers address these concerns by ensuring that on Valentine’s Day, no one is left out. It’s an all-or-nothing strategy: either bring valentines for all classmates, or bring none. But now it’s the parents with the anxiety. Will we get the right cards? Will we get enough cards? Do we know the names of all the children in the class? And then there is the hour trying to get our children to sign the cards when all they really want to do is play on the DS.

And when the day is done, the sugary aftershocks begin. I live across the street from Martin Elementary, and I don’t think I’m imagining that the energy level at dismissal time on the day valentines are distributed is a little more intense. I can watch out my window as my son flies across the schoolyard, impatiently waits for the crossing guard to wave him across Cole Street, and runs home. He has barely shed his jacket before he dives headfirst into his backpack to excavate a treasure trove of candy hearts, chocolate kisses, and other commercially branded treats accompanied by pre-printed cards advertising the latest movie or other pop culture phenomenon. Who gave out the candy is irrelevant, and the carefully signed cards flutter to the floor unnoticed (until I have to raise my voice to get him to pick them up).

If the schools told parents not to send in valentines, we’d complain because despite all the hassle, we like the tradition. When our children are young, the process of making Valentine’s Day cards and heart-shaped crafts teaches them to show love and affection for their family and friends. Sometimes, it even inspires creativity. A few years ago, my daughter made her own homemade Valentine’s cards, combining her love of koalas and Mad Libs. And even though, more often than not, giving out Valentines means a trip to CVS and choosing between cards with Spiderman or Transformers, we’re still giving our children the opportunity to pick cards that express their interests, their identities. 

Giving out cards and chocolate candy is one of the many customs in our lives that give us joy and help us connect with others in our community. We accept the anxiety, the stress, and even the sugared-up kids because we know that in a world of constant pressure and stress, these traditions provide an outlet, an opportunity for fun, and yes, even a moment of love.