Sports-Parents: Helpful Cheerleaders or Pernicious Pushers?

I recently read a column by Jeff Opdyke, a Wall Street Journal columnist whose writing appears in the Providence Journal every other week, about his son’s involvement in soccer. And it was a bit of a wakeup call.

Opdyke wonders if he pushed his son to play soccer, not because his son loved it but because Opdyke himself loves soccer and saw himself as the father of a soccer player. His son had played soccer for years, earning a place on the travel team. The family sacrificed a lot to ensure their future Diego Maradona had the time and resources to develop his skills.

And it all ended one day when Diego Maradona said he’d rather be Tiger Woods and hung up his soccer cleats in favor of a bag of golf clubs.

For our kids, involvement in sports, particular team sports, begins at an early age. We sign our kids up for soccer and t-ball, hockey and softball. We show up for games to cheer on our five-year-olds as they chaotically scramble around the soccer field or impatiently wait their turn at bat in t-ball. We bring snacks for our football players and help our hockey players haul around their gear. Some of our children start with gymnastics or dance, and we happily shell out the money for classes and recital costumes just for the chance to see our future Gene/Jeanne Kelly tap along to Singin’ in the Rain.

But do we become too invested in the idea of being a parent of an athlete? A soccer dad? A hockey mom? A friend of mine played semi-professional hockey in Europe; now his three-year-old is already taking skating lessons and learning how to wield a stick. Obviously, he wants to share his love of hockey with his child. But what if the child doesn’t take to the sport? Sometimes we invest our own happiness in our children’s choices. Sometimes we get even more out of it than our children do.

The sidelines of a baseball game or soccer match can be one of the few public social gathering places for parents these days. The convenience and routine of running into the same people, parents of other kids on the team, becomes a constant in our lives. Eventually, lifelong friendships are made. Controversy aside, what was impressive about the was that it revealed a vibrant loving community centered on a youth sports team. I have seen that same kind community germinating on the sidelines of my son’s t-ball game, or through Seekonk Youth Soccer, or through Seekonk Jr. Warriors.

When parents take such a big role in the sports teams, the camaraderie and the social aspect, it puts more pressure on the children to continue. They may be good at the sport, but if they don’t love it, should we make them continue playing?

We sacrifice so much to give our children opportunities to play sports. We give up Saturday afternoons for games, weekday nights for practices, and extra treats so we can afford a new uniform or protective gear. But are we willing to give up the social aspect of sports if our children no longer want to play?

More than anything, we want to raise happy, healthy kids. And even if our kids aren’t involved in a particular team any more, we still can be. All these sports teams are run primarily by volunteers, usually, but not always parents of kids on the teams, but also local teens and college students who volunteer as well. We all can be part of that community that sports teams offer.

Seekonk Girls Softball League
www.eteamz.com/sgsl

Seekonk Jr. Golf League
sjgl.ezstream.com

Seekonk Jr. Warriors Football & Cheerleading
www.seekonkjrwarriors.com
http://www.seekonkjrwarriors.com/

Seekonk Warriors Boys Basketball
eteamz.active.com/seekonkhoopclub

Seekonk Youth Baseball
P.O. Box 191
Seekonk, MA 02771
eteamz.active.com/SEEKONKLL

Seekonk Youth Soccer
P.O. Box 411
Seekonk, MA 02771
www.seekonksoccer.org