Please Stop Sending Anonymous Letters to My Dog

One of my constituents, college-bound Andrew Meehan wrote to me about anonymous mailings. However, he told me of a different sort of an anonymous mailing than what's currently in the news. Here's what he wrote:

In all the ruckus over anonymous mailings in regards to candidates and their sexuality or their views on sexuality, there is one thing unfortunately that is being ignored by the public: groups are sending anonymous mailings to our pets.

I received a mailing the other day directed towards my beagle, speaking of nasty things said by certain candidates running for Attleboro City Council.

For instance, the mailing stated that “some members of the City Council running for reelection” – and apparently it was implied which ones – “are in favor of installing electric fences inside of people’s houses, strictly limiting the supply of K9Advantix in city pet stores, and making it illegal to go for walks longer than three minutes.”

If I had not prevented my dog from seeing these malicious rumors, she would probably be inclined to vote against those candidates. 

After doing some research, I’ve found that pet fear mongering is nothing new. During the state representative elections last year, now State Representative George Ross was accused by GOAL (Goldfish Organizing Action League) of promising to encourage all families to buy baby sharks and feed all goldfish to them. As we know, that accusation was false.

Sometimes, it looks like our candidates often uses different pets prejudices against one another. For instance, a friend of mine told me that her cat had received a pamphlet decrying how one mayoral candidate was sending the cat information about how his opponent wanted to make every cat take a bath every single day. In response, that opponent sent out a pamphlet to all dogs that if the other mayoral candidate won, that candidate would invite Michael Vick to Attleboro.

Some rumors seem real on the surface. One flyer wrote to the city’s parakeets that because of pollution, they would no longer be able to fly 10 feet above sea level. Others are just so ridiculous they have no merit whatsoever. I’m speaking, of course, of the mailing that was sent out to two years ago that accused one sitting city councilor of wanting to “put all puppies in the pound, and have them guarded by a pack of hungry and ferocious jungle cats.” I know that city councilor. He would never stand for such a sickening display.

I understand politics can get dirty. I understand it can get heated. But why must be we attack each other over irrelevant issues? Even more importantly, why must we get our pets involved?

Sincerely,

Andrew Meehan

P.S.  This was a satire in case you were wondering!